


“We’ll get through this, I promise.”

by Aidaran, StarTravel



Series: Garashir ficlets and drabbles [4]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Bittersweet, Dominion War, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Everyday Life, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slice of Life, drunken conversations, napping together, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 06:55:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19824862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aidaran/pseuds/Aidaran, https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarTravel/pseuds/StarTravel
Summary: Julian and Garak share some peaceful moments during the dominion war.





	“We’ll get through this, I promise.”

Julian smiles softly when Garak’s face finally shows up across from him on the screen. He looks tired and wan and some of his scales seem stiff, but he’s alive and there and waiting for Julian. That isn’t any little thing these days. "So, how have you been, Elim?"

"Fine, as always when you are away, dear. Why do you ask?"

Julian knows what that means by now. The war is not being easy on any of them, and Garak's panic attacks are not subsiding. Between that and the headaches he started getting after the removal of the wire, peaceful nights are a less and less common occurrence.

Julian can see a slight tension in the ridges above his eyes. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

You're doing your duty, love. I'm proud of you."

"I know, but it doesn’t feel like I’m doing much.” Julian starts and then shakes his head, because this isn’t about him. His feelings are secondary here. “Tell me how I can help. Have you been seeing Ezri?” 

"I'm not sure she knows what to do with me. I suggested she should give me some drugs and she insists on talking about feelings." He's being unfair, he knows it, but he needs to vent to somebody.

“Well, while drugs can be helpful in lessening symptoms, it is believed that understanding the emotional reaction and causes can help understand the psychological effect better.” Julian throws out with a shake of his head. “I can’t say I have much experience with therapy, but I know Ezri was considered the top of her class.”

"Well, I feel like her class project, yes. I'd prefer to have a quick solution and talk feelings later."

Or never, were it in his power. But the captain insisted and Julian refused to give him relaxing hypos unless he started seeing her.

“I’m sure, but she wouldn’t be a good doctor if she did that.”

"She can worry about my head later. We have a war to win."

“We need your head to win the war, Elim.” Julian’s voice is warm, smile crooked. His gaze is confident and reassuring as he taps the side of the screen with his index finger.

"Precisely! That's what I've been telling her."

“Somehow I don’t think you and I meant the same thing there.” Julian smirks a bit, shaking his head a little so a few pieces of hair fall loose. “We'll get through this, I promise. If you want, I can go with you to sessions when I get back tomorrow.”

"That would be most appreciated, although I fear you'd band up with her and try to impose that bland federation therapy on me." He gives him an exaggerated sigh.

Julian mimics it and shakes his head, leaning in towards the screen. 

“If I do, it will be for your own good.”

"I'm not sure about that. You too are trying to make me reflect on my past and my present. The damage psychology has done to the federation is terrible."

“Reflecting on your past and present can help you to better understand your own reactions and coping methods, allowing you to build better foundations and learn more effective strategies. I don’t see any of that as damage.” He feels like he's reciting the textbook. Somehow he doesn't quite believe his own words anymore. Sometimes he doesn't even believe in medicine.

"Such a nice way of saying you want to discover my secrets." Julian rolls his eyes at that but softens. It's a bit of retaliation, after all. "Will you be back tomorrow, dear?"

“I don’t want to discover your secrets any more than you want to discover mine.” Julian tells him with a small smile. Garak grins for a second, wide and knowing, eyes lighting up. “And yes, in the morning.”

Julian’s ship arrives early, and he descends nervous and excited to see Garak. He wonders what mood he’ll be in - amorous and playful and ready to spend several hours in bed, or anxious and tired, Julian not there to help through the worst of his attacks?

He's all smiles and refuses to talk about his problems, insisting he's fine.

Julian sighs but smiles and follows him to their quarters. 

“Are you sure? It’s alright if you’re not.”

"I assure you, I'm as good as I could be. Why don't you tell me about your trip? The parts that are not confidential, of course."

No point trying to get Garak to talk sometimes. Not about the important things, anyway. Luckily Julian’s gotten better at reading him the last few years. 

“Of course, dear. We treated 100 wounded. I think most of them will survive." Julian tries to sound chipper.

"That certainly sounds positive. I bought a good bottle of wine from Quark, since I wanted something good for you on your return, so we could celebrate another good week's work." Definitely too happy for Julian's taste. Something is off, he's probably been unable to sleep the whole time he was out.

Julian bites his lips and curls his arm through Garak’s. 

“I’m actually quite tired, dear. Maybe we could take a nap together?”

"Of course, that seems like a delightful idea." He's so polite Julian feels like a pesky customer. Still he squeezes Garak’s arm and smiles in a way even he knows looks fake. 

“Are you sure?” Julian asks and just barely holds back from being completely sarcastic.

"Oh yes, I'm sure you're pretty tired after your trip."

“And we can visit Ezri later too.”

"Maybe we could go tomorrow. I'm rather tired today."

“I imagine you haven’t been sleeping well without me.”

"I don't think I slept at all last night, so I'd like to take that nap if you don't mind."

The exhaustion is obvious in his face as soon as they enter their quarters. He probably was just barely holding it together but didn't want to look weak on the promenade. Those damn cardassian instincts.

“I ... Of course. Sleep well.” Julian kisses him on the cheek and watches him rest, trying to stay awake to keep an eye on him.

"You sleep too." Garak mumbles. Julian suspects he dosed himself with more than he should have to sleep the first nights, so he was out of insomnia hypos and of course didn't want to go ask his nurses for more. He knows they only tolerate Garak when their chief medical officer is around, and could very well let him bleed to death as soon as he's away.

Julian nods a bit and lets Garak slowly fall asleep, his own head pressed against the pillows. Then he sits up and watches him, careful to push down any lingering tiredness of his own. He needs to be the strong one right now.

Soon Garak starts with the nightmares. No surprise he looks so tired. He can't sleep more than a few hours at the best of times, and it’s worse when Julian goes on away missions. And waking a cardassian during a dream is risky, since they get disoriented. In Garak's case, Julian found out once he can become extremely dangerous during those periods. Even though he warned him the first night they were together, Julian found himself pinned against the floor on a couple occasions for trying to ease his dreams.

He weighs the risks versus the gain. Garak won’t be in emotional pain anymore and Julian is quite good at dodging now. But Garak might be embarrassed or angry. He waits to see how it goes.

Eventually Garak's sobs subside and he gets into the deeper sleep period. Julian makes a mental note to prepare more hypos. He hates dosing him, but the alternative is not better.

He watches Elim for the next few hours, reading and going over his notes. He douses himself with a caffeinated solution, and wonders if he can also douse himself with another one to stay awake later too.

Eventually Garak wakes up.

"Sorry I was such bad company dear. I should have been more polite."

Julian caresses his cheek, knowing he won't be able to quite convey what he wants to. Not to Garak when he's in such a pained state of mind.

“No, no, we both needed some rest. And you could never be bad company, Elim.”

"I don't think you slept at all."

“Of course I did. That’s why I’m so refreshed and chipper.”

Julian also gave himself a second hypospray for staying awake, but the effects aren’t as strong as he’d like.

"You are a terrible liar."

“What? Do I look tired?” Julian leans in and tries to look distracting.

"Julian."

“Yes darling?”

Julian tries to slide closer, but Garak pushes him back with one hand lightly.

"You didn't sleep. I always know. Was it because of my nightmares or yours?"

Julian bites his lip, shaking his head a little. 

“Yours. I’m fine though, and you needed the rest.”

"You're dosing yourself, when you tell me I shouldn't do the same."

“What? That’s ridiculous.” Julian says with a slightly brittle smile.

Garak looks to the side, to the discarded hypos in his nightstand. 

"Those were not mine."

“I’m a doctor. I know when I need medicine and how to administer it.”

"Yes, for example to avoid sleeping. Julian, I know you do it."

“Only when necessary and at a healthy amount.”

"And somehow I don't quite believe you."

“Elim, do you really think I’d be stupid enough to put my own health at risk?”

"Yes."

Julian huffs a that and then shakes his head a little, admitting a bit of defeat. He might be that stupid, when he’s alone on away missions and the war gets too close to his own hands. He doesn't really want to meet Garak's eyes.

“I need to take care of you and I need to take care of everyone on this ship and God knows how many other ships. Sleep is a luxury.”

"You're a human. You need to rest. And if I'm resting, I prefer you to do as well."

“I’m also a doctor and your partner. I need to make sure you’re okay.”

"And once I was ok, why didn't you rest? I don't want to wake up alone."

“How could I know you wouldn’t have another attack or that there wouldn’t be a medical emergency?"

"You wake up immediately when those occur, we both know that. Why don't you want to rest?"

Julian shrugs a little, smiling in a way he hopes is charming. 

“What if next time I don’t and you need me or someone dies? Better to be fighting the good fight while I’m awake rather than losing it and precious time in my sleep.”

"Dear, indulge me. Come back to bed."

“Fine, Fine. You probably need to sleep more. Did you sleep at all while I was gone?”

"Barely. And I'm sure you didn't either."

“Maybe not, but I’m not tired.” Julian assures him even as Garak leans in to get a closer look at his face for signs of exhaustion.

"Still. I don't want to be alone." He pushes him back with him and curls. "I miss my hot blooded blanket."

“Well, I’ve missed you curling around me like this. It makes me feel appreciated.” Julian murmurs as he pulls Garak closer. “All right, you sleep and I’ll watch you.”

"No, now it's your turn."

“I told you I’m not tired.” Julian groans, though it sounds suspiciously like a suppressed yawn to Garak.

"Rest your eyes, then. We can have dinner when they are rested." He pulls him closer.

“All right, but rest yours as well. You need to catch up on sleep.” Julian uses his most doctorly tone as he finally lies back on the pillow.

Garak sighs when Julian finally sleeps. Now it's his turn to have nightmares, and Garak shushes small nothings in kardassi to calm him down. Julian stiffens every so often, small whimpering sounds escaping his throat as Garak murmurs until he relaxes again. Garak wonders if Julian even knows he has as many as Garak when he first gets back from the battlefields. Probably he does, or he wouldn’t be dosing himself with who knows what.

Julian eventually sleeps a bit more calmly, body unfurling. Garak sighs and wonders if they should meet with Ezri for Julian as well. He is human, after all.

He dozes of eventually and only wakes up when Julian starts to stirr.

“Garak? How long have we been asleep?” Julian asks softly, surprised he even managed to rest. Maybe the nightmares are getting better.

"A couple hours, I think. Why, are you hungry already? We could go to the Klingon restaurant."

“I could eat. That sounds lovely, if you promise to be nice.” Julian grouses a little, annoyed with himself for falling aslee p.

“I’m always nice.”

Julian squeezes his arms and smiles softly, reminding himself to make Elim see Ezri tomorrow.

They arrive to the klingon restaurant and find it almost empty. It’s mid afternoon, after all, and most people are working. Julian eats more voraciously than he meant to. He can't quite remember when was the last time he was able to just sit and enjoy a meal. Garak frowns and tuts at him.

“Eating rather quickly there."

"I forgot to do so at lunch."

“Really? Too much work?” He tries to keep his tone even. He knows Julian never forgets anything.

"I somehow lost my appetite after treating battle wounds. Hope you won't think I'm too soft."

“No, not soft for that, my dear. The world might just be too bleak these days.” Garak assures him as he takes a few neat bites. “Don’t give yourself indigestion though, dear.”

"I never get indigestion. Good building material, remember?"

“If only we could all have such perfect health.”

"Well, the only downside to perfect health is having to be me, but yes, aside from that it's quite good."

Garak smiles softly at him, giving his hand a light squeeze.

“Is it so bad being you? You wouldn’t have me otherwise.”

"Then there are several good things about being me, I guess." He smiles a bit, something warm coming into his gaze. Garak thinks that's the first one since he came back. It's not a lot, but it's something.

“Several for you, thousands for me.” Garak answers him as he watches his smile grow wider. He wonders when they became so rare.

"And I was supposed to be the positive one. Seems I'm starting to rub on you."

“Maybe, but then I’m unfortunately also rubbing off on you. You didn’t used to be half so cynical.”

"You insisted I was too positive several times. Perhaps I do listen from time to time." His grin somehow grows a bit wider, the skin around his eyes crinkling.

Julian slows down a bit with his food as they talk, looking at his gagh intently as it tries to flee his plate, and Garak smiles a little at that. He asks him several questions about the less... bloody aspects of his trip. It can’t all be bleak, not with Julian. He’s always ready to find the good in anything. The human smiles and gulps his gagh, going on about the place he was stationed all week.

"I didn't really do a lot of sightseeing. But I heard the moon system is beautiful at night. We could go there when the war is over."

“Oh, that would be lovely, my dear. And maybe we could see some of their gardens. I heard they are quite fascinating in terms of the amount of flora there.”

Julian smiles and leans in, grin a bit wider. 

“We can have a picnic at night in the gardens. You can bring kanar and I’ll read you poetry.”

"We could do almost everything, sans the gardens, before bed. What do you say?"

“That sounds rather lovely. Shall we go to one of the observation decks then?”

"We can take there a couple bottles of kanar. If we're lucky somebody will go through the wormhole and gives us a free show."

“Garak!” Julian cries, though it’s clear he’s delighted, laughing a bit as he shakes his head and rolls to his feet. “To Quark’s then?”

"Yes, and then up the phylon."

By the time they arrive to the top of the station they are a bit tipsy and laughing.

Julian practically drags Garak down with him when he goes to sit down by the windows, giggling as he slides to the ground without letting go of his arm. 

“See, look at that first moon there. It’s such a rich orange.” He drags his o’s a bit, snorting.

"And that one, that one would look better if it was green." Garak is more than tipsy.

“Maybe so, though I’m not sure the moons can match your sense of aesthetics.” Julian topples over his arm, giggling. “I like that one though. The blue one.”

"The blue one has tiny lights. I like it too." He snorts at his own comment.

“It’s like it’s covered with stars.” Julian muses as he clumsily lays himself over Garak’s lap, reclining over his chest so both can look up at the sky.

"Seas and seas of them." He squeezes his hand. "Shall we go back to our quarters?"

“That sounds nice.” Julian agrees softly as he squeezes his hand back. It’s better, when they’re together. Outside the war is still raging on, but with him, he feels a bit more at peace.

"Do you have a shift tomorrow? Because I could decide not to open the store tomorrow. Sleep until lunchtime."

“No, I have tomorrow off. They said they wanted me to recover from the week of - you know.” Julian waves his hand distractedly.

"Lucky me. I'll have you tomorrow all for myself."

“Mm, you’ll have to make good use of me.”

"Oh yes, I plan on using you as a pillow and blanket."

“And I’m more than happy to be both as long as you don’t mind being my weighted blanket.”

"Of course, I wouldn't dream of anything else." He leans a bit on him to keep from falling. Really, he's too old for so much kanar. He thinks they had... 3, maybe 4 bottles already.

Julian is walking in a not so straight line, cheerfully talking about the science behind weighted blankets and carelessly carrying a bottle in his free hand, though he keeps going off on tangents every other word. 

“They’re not nearly as effective as you’d think, though, Elim.”

"The blankets?" He's not so sure what he's talking about anymore.

"Yes, blankets aren't as comfy, they aren't as ... broad." Julian struggles for the right word as they arrive to their quarters.

"I am broad." Garak frowns at that.

"Yes, broad like a mountain or a big tree."

"I'm not yet that fat, dear." They dissolve in a fit of laughter again.

"No! It's a good thing Garak. Safe."

"Yes, you're safe with me. You can even sleep late with me." Garak muses as he drunkenly pulls Julian to his chest. He wonders if Julian realizes what a statement that is, given that Garak’s never let anyone else spend the night before. 

“Yes, and you won’t leave.” Julian tugs him closer and cuddles into his chest, though there’s something almost sad to his gaze for a second. Then it’s gone, replaced with drunken affection. “I love you.”

"Love you too." Garak manages to open their door and sweeps Julian off the floor, almost tripping but managing to get him to the bed and flopping at his side.

Julian grins and giggles again, curling up against his side as Garak pulls the blankets over them both. Julian throws a few off and then slides his head onto Garak’s chest.

"I'm warmer than them." He says sleepily.

“Yes, you are. So warm.” Garak agrees softly as he pulls Julian close. He waits to fully relax until he hears the other man’s breathing even out.

Soon he's asleep too. Neither remembers to take their sleeping hypos this night.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are love!


End file.
